plonkern.

1862 C. C. Robinson Dial. Leeds & Neighbourhood 386 ‘A plonker’ is an article having extraordinary substance. A piece of woven material unusually thick is ‘a plonker’.

1885 Pudsey Almanack & Hist. Reg. Mar. Sitha Bill at that young woman's improver, isn't it a plonker?

1898 B. Kirkby Lakeland Words 114 Noo that's a plonker.

1903 Eng. Dial. Dict. IV. 550/1 That turnip's a plonker.

1924 J. H. Wilkinson Leeds Dial. Gloss. 168 Plonker, a ‘whopper’, a ‘plugger’.

1950 D. Eastwood Diary 6 Mar. in River Diary 24 I lost another much bigger one [sc. a fish], a real plonker!

1965 T. E. Niven East Kilbride xxx. 264 The opponents armed with ‘plonkers’ tried from a fixed distance to scatter the jauries from the moshie... There were many varieties of marbles.

1917 Richmond (New S. Wales) River Herald 25 Dec. 2/6 We did fatigue work at the front—night work at first,..when Hoch used to give us a plonker or two every now and again.

1918 Aussie: Austral. Soldiers' Mag. Jan. 3 Fritz was putting over some big stuff. Every time a plonker landed near them, one of the officers energetically fired his revolver into the air.

1920 Aussie: Cheerful Mag. Dec. 36/3 I had helped him out when he had got chucked into a shell-hole by a plonker.

1961 E. Partridge Dict. Slang (ed. 5) II. 1226/1 Plonker, a (cannon) shell: Australian soldiers': 1939 +.

c1920 in A. N. Bold Bawdy Beautiful (1979) 128 Last night I lay in bed and pulled my plonker.

1949 E. Partridge Dict. Slang (ed. 3) Add. 1138/1 Plonker, penis: low: since ca. 1917.

1984 K. Waterhouse Thinks xx. 185 Why ever did you bother pulling me when all you're good for is pulling your plonker?

1989 Re: Toothpaste, BMG & Columbia in rec.music.cd (Usenet newsgroup) 30 Oct. This, to my line of thinking, is someone pulling your plonker, so to speak.

1991 Sport 20 Feb. 23/8 She grabs my plonker and rubs baby oil on it.

1995 Empire May 110/1 Mr. Jobsworth realises I'm pulling his plonker and suggests I ‘leave’.

2003 Australian (Nexis) 24 June 13 Most male dogs have a u-shaped bone in their plonker.

1955 Bucks Examiner 30 Dec. 5/3 Only the other day I came across an old list [of resolutions], mercifully undated, which committed me..to giving up using the swear words ‘Plonker’ and ‘rotter’.

1964 J. Lennon in Ready Steady Go! 20 Mar. (transcribed from TV programme) [John Lennon] May I present you with these, err . . . [Host] You tell us which LPs you chose. [Competition winner] Well, I chose Shostakovich, Violin Concerto, and Mingus by Charlie Mingus... [John Lennon] Plonker.

1966 J. Gaskell All Neat in Black Stockings 72 If she'd been my daughter in fact I'd never have let her go out with an obvious plonker like myself.

1981 J. Sullivan Only Fools & Horses (1999) I. 1st Ser. Episode 3. 30/1 Rodney! I didn't mean drive off! What a plonker!

1987 Times (Nexis) 22 Feb. [He] keeps the great lexicographers Fowler, Gowers and Partridge on his bookshelf at home, though Partridge, he opines with discernment, is ‘a bit of an ol' plonker’.

1988 Smash Hits 19 Oct. 9/3 I look at a dress and think because it's fashionable it'll look good and then I go out with it on and realise what a plonker I look.

2000 H. Simpson Hey Yeah Right (2001) 69 You're going to look a right plonker when the end of the world doesn't come, aren't you?