have a poker up (one's) ass

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have a poker up (one's) ass

1. vulgar slang To be very stiff, rigid, or inflexible in one's posture or demeanor. The guy trundled around the stage so gracelessly and awkwardly, as if he had a poker up his ass. You'd think she has a poker up her ass from the way she sits in class.2. vulgar slang To be very rigid or inflexible in one's opinions or beliefs. My grandfather had a real poker up his ass when it came to people living together or having children before marriage.3. vulgar slang To be irritable, unfriendly, or humorless. Geez, it was just a joke—you must have a poker up your ass or something. I wouldn't mess around with Mr. Daniels, he's got a poker up his ass today.See also: ass, have, poker, up