See Also: ABANDONMENT

1. Cast away [anger] like spoiled milk —Marge Piercy
2. Discarded like outmoded customs —Elyse Sommer
3. Discarded (me) like yesterday’s underpants —Sue Grafton
4. Dropped … like a dead fish —T. Glen Coughlin
5. Dropped [from a list] … like a hot rivet —Loren D. Estleman
6. He shook them [young women] off his back like a young stallion shaking off an unskilled rider —Russell Banks
7. Keep at a distance, like someone with an infectious disease —Anon

   The many twists on this usually refer to a specific diseases, whatever is most feared. Like so many phrases that have been mainstreamed into our language, this can be traced back to a line from Shakespeare, in this case: “Barred, like one infectious.”

8. Push her away like a clinging dog —Daphne du Maurier
9. Push me aside like a kitchen chair —Philip Levine
10. Put (such thoughts) aside like chewed-up grapeskins —Bertold Brecht
11. Rejected [bad news] … like a transplanted organ —Pat Conroy
12. Rejected [praise] like counterfeit money —William Mcllvanney
13. Shoved aside like a row boat nosed away by a tanker —Mary Gordon
14. Shun him like the plague —Charles Dickens
15. Some men, like spaniels, will only fawn the more when repulsed, but will pay little heed to a friendly caress —Abd-el-Kader
16. Spurn my passion like a worm —Jean Racine
17. Swept her aside as if she were a cobweb —Susan Kelly
18. They just dropped me … like a bag of potatoes —Njabulo Ndebele
19. Threw aside everything … like a contemptible burden —Heinrich Böll

(See also EXPULSION.)

blackball To exclude; to cast a negative vote against a candidate or applicant seeking admission to a select group. Such adverse votes were formerly cast by placing a black ball in the ballot box. Thus, the term came to mean to reject or exclude in any sense, though its most frequent application is still in reference to membership rejection by fraternities or other socially prestigious, exclusive organizations. It has been in use since 1770.

blacklist To bar or exclude from something as work or a club; also, the list of people so excluded; hence, those under suspicion, censure, or otherwise out of favor with the powers that be. The expression, in use since 1692, is said to date from the reign of Charles II of England, with reference to the list of individuals implicated in the trial and execution of his father, Charles I.

cut off with a shilling To disinherit, especially by bequeathing a shilling or other nominal sum to show that the disinheritance was deliberate. This expression is said to have arisen from the erroneous belief that English law was the same as Roman in assuming forget-fulness or unsoundness of mind on the part of the testator who neglected to name close relatives in his will. Out of this grew the practice of giving the scorned heir a shilling or other trifling sum to show that he had not been omitted as an oversight. Although this precise expression dates from 1834, the concept and practice date from much earlier:

The original sense of this phrase has been distorted in time and it is popularly misconstrued today as to cut off without a shilling.

Dear John letter A letter from a woman telling her boyfriend, fiancé, or husband that she is jilting him for someone else. Usually a Dear John letter is sent to a man who has been separated from the woman by both time and distance, as a soldier overseas.

get the hook To have one’s performance abruptly terminated; to be fired; to receive or be subjected to dismissal. This expression recalls the days of vaudeville when more than a few marginally talented or outrageously untalented performers were forcefully removed from the stage by means of a long stick with a hooked end, somewhat like an elongated cane. In contemporary usage, however, get the hook and a variation, give the hook, are usually figurative.

give a basket To refuse to wed; to discard a fiancé. This expression, derived from the old German custom of placing a basket on the roof of a jilted sweetheart’s house, is seldom heard today.

give the air To suddenly jilt a lover or sweetheart; to abruptly fire an employee; also, give the wind. Figuratively, this expression might imply either that a person is given nothing, or that he is propelled from another’s presence by a blast of air.

give the bag To leave a paramour suddenly or unexpectedly; to discharge a person from his job or duties. This phrase carried a nearly reverse meaning, i.e., to ‘quit a job without giving the employer proper notice,’ before developing its current figurative usage as a reference to the plight of a jilted lover.

give the cold shoulder To display indifference or disregard toward; to ignore or snub; also to show the cold shoulder. Although the exact origin of this expression is unknown, it has been suggested that cold shoulder refers to the cold shoulder of meat reputedly once served to unwelcome guests so as to discourage their return. The phrase has been in use since 1816.

give the gate To reject or dismiss; to give someone the brush-off; to fire, or let go from employment. This expression, as well as get the gate ‘to be rejected or jilted,’ is said to be an Americanism dating from the early 1900s. However, grant the gate ‘to give leave to go’ (OED) appeared in print as long ago as the middle of the 15th century.

In the transition from grant the gate to give the gate, a significant change took place. Today one “gives the gate” in a spirit of disaffection and alienation, whereas based on the above quotation, good will and magnanimity inspired the King to “grant the gate” to Gawane.

give the mitten To jilt a sweetheart; to reject a romantically inclined admirer; to discharge an employee. There are several possible sources of this expression: the medieval French custom of giving a mitten to an unsuccessful suitor; the custom of throwing down a glove to signify defiance or rejection; or a derivation from the Latin mittere ‘to dismiss.’

gong [someone] To terminate a person’s performance before its completion; to fire; to dismiss rudely. This expression stems from the custom in many local and national talent contests of ringing a bell or striking an Oriental-type gong to signify that, in the opinion of the judges, an act is so bad that it does not merit continuation. This concept has been popularized, if not vulgarized, by “The Gong Show,” a television series of the late 1970s.

turn up one’s nose at To regard with disdain, to show contempt for; to reject or refuse scornfully; snub.

Dating from the early 19th century, this expression is perhaps an allusion to the way one wrinkles up one’s nose at a particularly distasteful odor, or to the way animals, especially dogs and cats, sniff at their food before eating and walk away if the smell fails to suit them. A similar phrase is to have one’s nose in the air ‘to be arrogant or condescending.’ The gestural equivalent of the expression consists of putting the forefinger under the tip of the nose and pushing it up slightly.

whistle [someone] down the wind To forsake, abandon, or discard. This expression appeared in Shakespeare’s Othello:

In bygone days, a hawk was released against the wind when pursuing game. If the bird was being set free, however, it was released with the wind. In figurative usage, the expression often implies the jilting of a paramour.